Making me wonder....where do i stand right now....??
I think i miss her....If she were to read this blog then she should know....
What i had done to her to make scars at her heart may not heal until
now...i just wish i could just see her to see if she is in good condition...
Just wish to....
Its hard for me to find replacement....i'm sure she is happy now....I really
do not want to hurt anyone...but it is best for us to make a break...I know
it is best for me n for her....
Just miss her....May she be happy n stay healthy n in good state of Iman...
Why do TMSN is very hard to progress....??
If you take a look we all MSSes contribute to our own society but
TMSN is to contribute to community or even the world...
This is a good start of having all the youth Muslim leaders together...
But why can't we werk together....?? The answer is that we are still
students and still have our own MSSes to serve n study at the same
time...The challenge is to find a group of the right people for the
job....MAKING DECISIONS.....
The main reason that we do not moving forward is that we do not
have a group of people who are making the final decision....if we
want to make everyone agree to that solution then i think it will take
maybe 20 years...Y...?? Because this is human...
We find the best people to seat and make decision making...
Again i will say a group of people....that group of people will gather
all info from diff leaders propose ideas then they will find the best....
N i say all ideas are good but which one is the best....
Still thinking Y it is hard to move forward....
Today half of my day on meeting....TMSN meeting....
InsyaAllah it will esteblish soon....
I'm just wondering y do berita harian do not have udpate
bout the world issues...?? I think this is disadvantage for the
Malays...If there are but too little to follow up what's goin on
in the world...
Just now i met 2 person which looks like familiar to me....
From far but i really think it is not the person...i know i'm
really bad at socialising...but at least trying to...Trying to
sociallise BACK....Y do i have to say back....coz i think i
talk more in the past...not now...if i were to talk now i think
i will more often hurt people feeling...
This is all my tools that i used for my competition....Not all tools that i used but most of them.... I'm really glad that the competition was over...now focusing on a few thing... I really learn a lot during my 2 years of training...In mental aspect or in physical aspect....Now i feel that i am more stronger than before...i know that i'm still weak though...But don worry....!! Just keep improving yourself... School have started for 2 weeks already... :-) If you ask me what i want to fucus now is...i want to focus on study first.... Yaaaaaaay.....!! Mon tak sekolah....!!! Happy tol aku....hehehe.....Waaah i really need to push myself real hard this time....This is last sem i mind you....i'm like taking o'level....hehe...But this is more serious coz it will really depend on myfuture...This is the project that i did during my WSS competition...I really feels that i should do better in term of programming... 
I feel that i am not right....i feel that somthing is not right.....
Y...?? Do i think too much bout the things that not important
at all....?? I do not know y my heart like hardened....maybe
i do a lot of sins...
I'm tired of thinking bout the past...i'm tired of thinking
bout all the experience that i had gone through...
Maybe also i think i set too high expectation for this sem...
Add to that i miss a lot of my studies due to my WSS...
I feel sad sometimes.....due to many many reasons.....I think
i pour my true feelings...It feels sad to note that no one by
my side...Try to console me when i'm sad....when i need
someone that i trust to talk with....Maybe i just keep most of
my acheivements to myself....
If you are an observer i do not smile that much nowadays...
I look more serious.....I'm not that you know....!! I love to
joke around....
Y do i really need to see what i do not have riduwan....Be
yourself riduwan....Be yourself....be yourself....be yourself....
No one cares for you now....OOhhh God....Please help me
overcome this mental stress in my head....I really seeking
your help God....
Muhammad Riduwan Bin Selamat be proud of your name...
Coz my grandmother had given me this name....coz i'm the
elderest male among all my cousins for my mums side...
Stand up Riduwan...You are not alone...God is near to you..
Seek help from God...
Nak tau ape yg aku rindu....Aku rindu seseorang yg dpt senyum
pada ku dgn senyuman yg ikhlas...sesiape sahaja yg ikhlas
ingin senyum pada ku....
Alhamdullilaaaaaah.....!! I had finished my WSS just now...
N i learn a lot from 3 days of competition...
Act i want to upload my pic but it seems that my hp cannot
communication to my laptop...so if i have the opportunity to
upload then i upload...
Its trilling man the competition...i mean i know i do not do the
programming good...i have to rephase it i do the programming
very badly...oppss...haiz...but my layout wiring is okok laaa...
Got to learn a lot of thing along the ways...
You know i like been cutting down to the outside world for
3 days...n now i'm lost...need to be updated..hehe...
Im really tired now physically n mentally...so i'm going to
take a rest....
Peace no war....
The input will be the same as the output or little bit lower...
But it won't be more than the input that is for sure...
Think bout your hardwerk bout doing something....
What a mess.....!!!
Everything is a mess.....!!
My WSS programming i nvr do.....!! Y....coz i do not even know how to
do even the first step and i confuse with the addressing....waaaaaaaah i
feel really sad..there is still competition tmr n tmr is the last day....
Yaaaaay yaaaaay besok sekolah......!!
Aku rase mcm ghairah gitu nk start sekolah...maybe because
this is my last sem.....yaaaaaaay.......!! Tak sabar ni.....
You know there are a few important people in my life that knock
my head hard n make me more wiser...
A lot of them...but i can still remember that someone make me
more wiser n mature at the same time...I still remember the question
she asked...where am i heading to....?? What i will do next....??
That are some of the questions that make me think.....maybe God
wants me to go to other direction from her...now i realise that
without her in my life i am more stronger...i'm now able to
find my own path...thanks...seriously i have no hard feelings....
Maybe a few week after breakup i felt emotional but alhamdullilah
that time is Ramadhan n i have to control all my emotions....it is
hikmah...n after ramadhan i can feel that i can proceed with my
life...maybe when i see her i will try to see her as a new her not
when we were together...Di sini wan ingin meminta maaf sekirannya
wan pernah melukakan hati...Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin...
N there is still someone that make me realise that i can even
succeed in my life more...it is my MUM....!!!!
My mum asked me this question early this morning....i said...
Abg mcm nk bussiness...?? Then i said what i want to bussiness...then
you know what she said to me..." aku pon bole ckp aku nk bukak
bussiness, dorang pon bole ckp dorang nk bukak bussiness..."
Ding doonnng....!! Knock into my thick skull of mine....
I really really hate someone that is lazy...I don like someone
saying that aku malas la nk uat bende ni.....dalam hati aku ni aku
ckp...klau malas then jgn la hidup...tido kat umah jee...!!
Tapi sebelom itu aku nk kene hilang kan sikap malas pada diri
aku ini...memang ku tidak menafikan aku ini malas...aku tidak
mahu menjadi seorang yg pemalas...
Count down to my WSS competition....4 more days....4 more days....!!
Wow thats fast.....!!!
I keep thinking y do a pizza hut company have more than 6000 world wide....
How do expand so so so big...It all start wit 2 brother in 1981 when they
borrowed $600....ermmm....
Then i think then said to myself how do i make a bussiness...ermm ermm
ermm...then i asked again..what am i good at...then think and think n think
n think...then i finally come out wit this one answer which is the last thing
that i would think of...mengurot....haha...that is the only natural talent
which no knowledge...but thinking back...nooo....so think back then ask a
question again....y do i feel that i do not werk and become an employer...??
I feel that there is no challenge...but then y can't i start a bussiness now
if i can face the challenge..?? woooow that is a lot of questions that i need to
answer man...
N i also think how powerfull a brand can be...for example if you want to
buy a sport T-Shirt n there is Adidas and one unknown brand for example
Abibas...So choose Adidas n Abibas...which one you would want to buy....??
So what makes a brand so powerful and have the power to attract
customer...??? This is just the brand....brand n not a product yet....
So now where should i start.....??
I'm tired of trying to get something that i maybe not getting it...I will try
my very best to get it n the rest i will tawakal....Yaa...This is life....
Next week is my WSS competition which on thurs, fri n sat...8am - 8pm
3 days straight...i will tell you it will be mental and physical tired...What
will drive me is that i've train for 2 years n friends who have given me
motivation someway or another, my teachers which have train me for 2
years...the most element that pushes me is my family....they have always
give me support eventhough by their actions...thanks people....this is
just the beginning....This is not hard yet it is not easy.....
Aku ngah ngantok daaaaaaaah.....dah la dah kol 1.06am kat laptop aku
sok kene gi ite simei nk kene tgk tmpat aku nye competition for next
week...I AM PROUD OF WHAT I AM....!! I AM UNIQUE.....!!
Spot me.... Sume dah besar2 i mean kabanyakan...Tunggu masa utk kahwin je...hahaha.... N tk lupe we need to thank those who make it happen....our parents....!! And to Allah of course...Untuk mencari wanita idaman ku, aku nk kene barsabar....Aku dah tau wanita apa yg aku nk...kire dah ade citeria2 die...So mcm nk kene explore la ni kan....??Hint2...Aku mencari seorang wanita yg hatinya baek...mestiade orang tny mcm mn kau nk carik wanita yg hatinya baek coz kau tk tau bace hati dorang pe...? Jawapan aku...Hati yg baek akan di nilai oleh akhlak yg baek..provided die pakaitudong...hahaha...not "tudong" eh...Coz dgn pakainya tudongaku tau kehormatan die insyaAllah dijage dan akhlak yg baekinsyaAllah hati yg baek....So to know akhlak yg baek you knowyou have to be friend wit them...Tapi aku tk bole ckp byk coz aku tk tau jodoh aku siape....Tapi aku akan berusaha carik yg terbaek.....yaaaaaay....===========================================WSS competition is 11 days left to tournament....wooow thatfast....aku ni punye la slag patot nye aku nk kene train formy programming kan...aku gi tgk je kertas die...then dah...Mane punye pandai la aku ni....Anw for me to get a grade yg mungkin aku dpt gi Uni is thissem i need to get gpa 4....GPA 4....??!!!! So it can increase myoverall GPA of 0.2 in overall GPA...This is my sedare picture.....klau korang tgk ade satu aditional fam....which meanone of my my sedare is married already....
I read this book it is call 7 metaphors of management...
I think this is quite good for me to pounder on...The author wrote
that in my own understanding, try to look back to see if you are
going in the right direction forward...
This may be true...by looking back see your past experience then
you proceed forward...the aim is to move forward...
I also learn that a great leader is the one who have a helicopter....
Why i said that is because what i think some or maybe most of
the leader tend to look too closely at details that maybe that is
not the solution to the problem...so first a leader need to take a
helicopter up high an see the overall picture first...not just jump
into conclusion...after analyse and figure out the problems then fly
your helicopter down closely where you want to improve upon it...
AND you have to constantly fly up again to see if you are goin in the
right direction..
I realise that being a leader is not an easy job...really....the more i
think bout it the more i feel that i'm not suite to be in this position..
But Allah know's best...so i take up the challenge...
To be a leader you have to have a deep knowledge first...And
our Phophet Muhammad (PBUH) is a great example of having
that knowledge...
WallAhu'alam bissawaab...
